I am on a quest to live a happy life everyday. All my life had a tendency to be a negative person, and seeing the glass half empty rather than full. I sometimes did it on purpose as a talisman since every time I thought something would go wrong it ended up being okay. That worked temporarily, and in the long run I realise I ended up being more a stressed person than a happy person.
So what is to be happy? Many people think they will be happy when something outside us happens. I am guilty of this. Many times I look outside of me to be happy. Many people think that they will be happy when they get married, or find love, or when they get a better job and a higher salary, or when they get that house they always wanted, or when they become financially independent.
In my days I was unhappy and bored and looked for a better job. Then I was unhappy to be alone. I thought that by marrying I was going to be happy. I also went into a circle that when I become unhappy and bored I would look for a new country to move to. I was told many times you are still taking yourself to the new country, so you will still be unhappy. I must say I was still unhappy, although I enjoyed living in different countries.
I was then told that when I had children I would be happy and all problems would end. Well that did not happen. I am happy to have two lovely children, but I am still looking for more. I, also, ended up moving countries with my children thinking I would be happy, and still battle to be happy.
But I was told many times that happiness is within us, and that we can only be happy by enjoying the now, the present. And that is my quest now, how to enjoy the present when we live in a race to do all what society has become today, work, running around to thrive in our work, schools, friends, but not really stopping to smell the roses
So in summary we could say that there are two states of happiness. One depends on what happens outside us, and therefore we do not have control about it. We are happy as long as we have a job, or we can get a new toy. I watch my children, they are happy children, but are they happier when they get a new toy. Of course they do. But unfortunately that happiness does not last long. They get a new toy and two days it gets forgotten, and they want a new toy.
And do my kids get frustrated and annoyed when they do not get it? You bet. It is the same with adults, we get frustrated and unhappy when we do not get what we want. But besides the fact that we need to be happy within, I know for a fact that we can get whatever we want, if we apply our mind power and the law of attraction. I am a firm believer of it because when I applied these principles they have worked for me.
The second state of happiness is in the inside; No matter what happens outside we are still happy. Of course we can have sad emotions, and bad moments but we can still be happy by enjoying every moment. By enjoying the power of now and becoming better persons within ourselves. Being happy is a way of being. You can only be happy within you if you are not dependent on others or external factors to be happy. Because if we are dependent we will always find something or someone that makes us unhappy. I experienced this myself many times. I put my happiness on hold until I got married. Then I was happy for a while but soon my husband made me unhappy.
So after all this introduction you must still think I did not tell you about how to be happy. Well I searched the internet, and there is lots of information about how to be happy. I find some points that Readers Digest made on how to be happy. I selectd some of the ones I believe arethe most important and I need to follow.
1- Live in the present; do not live in the past or in the future. Just enjoy the now. This is something I need to work at.
2- Laugh out loud: I personally do not laugh enough. I have given this up long ago Laughter has so many benefits, including some physiological benefits. Remember we are mind, body and spirit so anything in the body will affect our mental condition and anything in our mental condition will affect our physical condition. Laughing can raise levels of endorphins and other pleasure-inducing hormones and lower production of stress hormones.
3- Go to sleep: We do not sleep enough. I personally have not slept right since my children were born 6 years ago. Reader Digest claims that going to bed at 8:00pm from time to time with a book and reading for an hour can improve your mood significantly.
4- Hum along or sing: Studies have shown that music or singing can activate part f the brain that brings you happiness. This is something I would definitely implement. The last years I have strived to listen to lost of audio in my free time, but I completely neglected listening to music.
5- Declutter, A clear space helps with a clear mind and besides you will not have the stress of an uncluttered house or car
6- Organize yourself: You need to stay organized; this will help also with a clear mind.
7- Do-one thing at a time: We are living in a multitasking world and we think that we are more productive by doing 20 things at a time. But that does not work, because the main thing is we do not enjoy what we are doing, because we are doing too much.
8- Tune out news: For one week do not listen to news, or read newspapers. I am very good at this; I never watch or read news. People have accused me of living uninformed but the truth is that when there is something really bad I will hear about it. Also I do not have the time to listen to news, rather listen to some uplifting audios. There have been many cases of sick people that but switching the news or moving to the country side got cured.
9- Take care of the soul: People that look after their soul have shown sign of being happier. Caring after the soul can be in different ways, going to church, praying, meditating or reading spiritual books.
10- Establish your priorities: Set your priorities right if your family is important to you, and then schedule your time around it. Nourish your priorities. I mean if your relationships are important, nourish them.
11- Spend time alone: Even though we need to socialize and be in loving relationships, we need to nourish our time alone also.
12- Walk mindfully: I learned something from this. Walking is beneficial, but t has been proven by a research that walking mindfully, paying attention to your steps, and counting your steps (one, two, one two) , visualizing the counting in your mind, decreased the levels of anxiety more than people that were just walking
13- Count your blessings. Every day you need to be grateful for what we have. It is a universal law that really works and will go into it later on. Just get a notebook and write 5 things you are grateful for, even if they are small things like having a shower, having a roof over your head, being able to switch on the light or getting a smile from a loved one.
14- Healthy diet: A healthy diet gets a long way. This is my believe but I need to research it and implement it as my diet has been not as good.
I will explore this in depth in my site and learn how to achieve this every day also overcoming procrastination.