Six Reasons Why You Should Step Out Of Your Shoes Before Judging Anyone

Have you ever said to someone, “Do not judge me”,  but you are actually judging them because they are judging you? It sounds crazy, but judging can put you in a catch 22 situation.

I personally experienced this recently when two different friends stopped talking to me because they did not agree on how I managed my life. Just because they did not understand my behavior, they stopped talking to me. I did not offend them in anyway. They simply do not agree with my decisions in life.

I felt hurt, but then I started thinking… If I am sulking, then I am probably judging the other person because they are judging me. Can you see the pattern? What came first, the chicken or the egg?

Although I felt really bad, I told them I understood their decision. But deep down I still struggle to understand it. I had to sit down, look within me, and ask myself why I am judging.

I believe what they told me pushed some buttons, or they might be my mirror, in the same way I may be their mirror. It may be that the person that judges has a bit of a self esteem problem.At the same time, it is possible that my self esteem is also low. If it was higher then I would have not felt hurt by their judgments.

 Six Reasons Why You Should Step Out Of Your Shoes Before Judging Anyone


  1.  You do not know until you are there:  You never know how you would react in someone else’s shoes. Even if you put yourself in their shoes, you wouldn't know how you would respond to a situation until it really happens. If you had a gun on your head, you may think you know how you would behave, but what you think and what you actually do can differ. When you are under stress, your reaction could be the opposite of what you expected.

    I believe the same happens in real life. It is very easy to talk when you are not in the situation.  But when you are in there, you may be a totally different person.

    And honestly, can you really be in someone else’s shoes at all?

    I  do not think so….

    …because you are unique and different.

    So even if you happen to live a similar experience, chances are that you would experience it differently. You don’t have the same baggage than the other person. You don’t even have the same personality, so things will be different. And that is the beauty of being unique individuals.

  2. Your journey in life is unique: Everyone has a different journey. In the end we all get to the same place. You are here to learn and you probably learn better when you do a “mistake”.

    I honestly believe you come to this world to learn different lessons. You have chosen these lessons before you even come to this world. You view may differ in this, but I am pretty sure you agree that you learn best when you do a mistake. I personally believe we are all different and unique. We each have different roads to travel. Wouldn't the world be very boring if everyone was the same? The path for person A, may not be the right one for person B, but it could be the only path for person A.

    So before judging person B. Step out of your shoes and wear theirs. Do they fit you perfectly?

    Probably not. Therefore, do not judge even when you think you are in their shoes.

  3. Unconditional love does not leave room for judging: The world would function better if we had unconditional love for everyone. It sounds like a judgment, and maybe it is, but it really feels true.

    If you loved everyone unconditionally, you would send them love instead of judging them.Everyone is in this journey called life, and I don’t believe anyone has yet mastered it to perfection.

    If you are perfect, please raise your hand, and tell me the secret. If you are not, step on the other person’s shoes and ask yourself: "If I were in his place, would I want to feel loved or judged?"

  4.  You point a finger, and three fingers point back to you: When you are judging others, you are pointing fingers. You may have heard the saying that says, “When you point a finger to someone, there are three fingers pointing back to you”.

    Perhaps, judging shows an aspect of yourself that you dislike. You are projecting yourself onto others.

  5. Everyone is a teacher: There are no coincidences in life. Things happen for a specific reason. Everything is a perfect puzzle. So if you came across someone, it is because you needed to learn something from them, or perhaps this person is there to show you an aspect of yourself. Before judging it would be wise to reflect on the buttons this person is pushing. Why does it bother me so much? What part of myself she is showing me? What can I learn from this loving teacher?

  6. Judging robs your time: You have 24 hours a day and you probably think is not enough.Why then spend half of that time judging others and worrying about what others do or do not do? Yes listen and share, but hey, worry about yourself and your issues first


"Judging A Person Doesn't Define Who They Are, It defines who you are"

In closing, the above quote, which I do not know where it comes from, summarizes everything what I said.  If you judge, stop judging now. If you are being judged, do not get offended. It has nothing to do with you but with the person judging. Your life will change for the better and you will
feel happier.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this and if you like this post, please share it by clicking on the Facebook, and Twitter links.

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4 Responses to Six Reasons Why You Should Step Out Of Your Shoes Before Judging Anyone

  1. Ellinor says:

    This is great Andrea 🙂
    Most often we judge others for how we feel. It is only ourselves who can create our own feelings.

    Keep going!
    Hugs from me 😉

  2. Wendell says:

    Andrea, you have provided some very sound words of wisdom. I found the title of your post to be quite different from the usual “don’t judge someone until you have walked a mile in their else’s shoes.”

    I suspect we all do a quick assessment (judgement?) based upon the externals of everyone we meet. It is not until we can get to know that other person can we really understand where they are coming from.

    Thanks for the post.

    • Andrea says:

      Hi Wendell

      Thanks for your comments. I am glad you enjoy the read. I tried to be different with the title, to grab attention, but I think people did not get it, so will change it to something else. Thanks for visiting and commenting.

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